Silicon Valley, CA: In a plot twist that even the most glitchy AI couldn’t predict, OpenAI’s shiny new GPT-5 has bombed harder than a dad joke at a funeral.
CEO Sam Altman, looking like he just realized he left the oven on, confessed over a fancy dinner with reporters: “We totally screwed up some things on the rollout.” Translation: We turned our beloved chatty Cathy into a soulless robot, and now everyone’s mad.
Users, who apparently formed deep emotional bonds with GPT-4o (because who needs human friends when you’ve got an AI that remembers your favorite pizza toppings?), flooded social media with complaints. “It’s like talking to a toaster that hates you,” one disgruntled tweeter lamented.
“GPT-5 answers questions like it’s auditioning for the role of ‘Bored Bureaucrat’ in a dystopian sci-fi flick.”
The backlash was so fierce that OpenAI had to hit the undo button faster than you can say “control-Z,” reinstating GPT-4o for their premium “Plus” subscribers. Because nothing says “we value your feedback” like charging people to go back to the good old days.
But wait, there’s more! Altman spilled the beans on a sneaky technical gremlin that made the whole mess even funnier, or tragic, depending on your sense of humor.
A so-called “real-time router” (which sounds like something from a bad spy movie) was supposed to pick the best model for your query but instead decided to route everything through the “Dumb It Down” filter.
Result? GPT-5 came off “way dumber” than intended, like an Einstein who forgot his glasses and his brain. “It wasn’t the AI’s fault,” Altman might as well have said. “It was the router’s evil twin!”
GPT-6: Because Why Fix One Disaster When You Can Promise Another?
Not one to dwell on failures (or learn from them too slowly), Altman is already hyping GPT-6 like it’s the second coming of sliced bread, but with memory foam.
“People want memory,” he declared, probably while staring longingly at his own forgetful smartphone. Imagine an AI that remembers your birthday, your dog’s name, and that embarrassing story you told it last week. No more starting conversations with “Hey, remember me?” – unless, of course, the router glitches again and wipes everything clean.
And get this: GPT-6 will let you customize the AI’s personality! Want a sassy sidekick? A wise-cracking comedian? Or maybe just a version that doesn’t ghost you mid-convo? It’s like Build-A-Bear, but for bots.
This is OpenAI’s big apology tour: “Sorry we made GPT-5 as warm as a polar bear’s fridge; here’s a customizable cuddle buddy instead!”
No word on when GPT-6 drops, probably right after they figure out how not to alienate their entire user base again.
In the wild world of AI, where models evolve faster than internet trends, one thing’s clear: OpenAI learned that users don’t just want smarter tech; they want tech that doesn’t make them feel like they’re chatting with a malfunctioning vending machine.